With the weekly deluge of rain and what not I had been wondering if racing was even going to happen at all this week. Well just as luck would have it, seems I got a wicked sinus infection for my turning 39 on Friday. I spent most of the weekend on the couch or sleeping...Or both. By Monday I thought I was on the mend but the chills I was having at work let me believe otherwise. Tuesday morning came and i felt awful so i stayed in bed and tried to forget about work and racing. it's now Thursday and I think I'm finally coming out of the sinus funk. Either way my idea of besting my 2012 Greensfelder Challenge result will have to wait. Well, unless it indeed gets rained out. Which as of posting this looks lees and less likely. I guess this is some of the perks of being your own race team. I have no team boss to let down except myself. Damn you broken nose and crappy sinus cavities!
These paper chains made of tissue are binding my desire.
The weekend started off with a bit of good trail karma. GORC had a work day at the park j.rider is a trail steward. So I grabbed my workday bag and loaded up The Chrimson Ghost SS and headed out. We were going to be working on finishing off the newest section we've been working on. We had a big turnout and easy digging so we got done with the bulk of things a bit ahead of schedule. I started out on some solo maintenance of the older sections and took care of a few issues here and there. Then it was back to meet up with the rest of the crew just starting on lunch. I opted for a Stinger waffle and changed out of the Carhartts and into spandex.
After j.rider finished with his duties we got ready and set off on a romp on the single track on the single speeds. We were having a good time jamming the trails and railing the 1x1s. After a hot lap and a through gassing of our already tired legs, it was time for a real lunch. At lunch we discussed upcoming events, future plans and a handful of bike talk. One thing we both chatted back and fourth about was training, diet, and feeling lost (More on that in a minute) We wrapped up the meal and headed back to the man cave to shorten the steerer tube on his fancy high dollar rigid fork. For trimmed and painstakingly fitted to the 'Big Unit' it was time for the family man to head home. We made plans to meet Sunday for some laps and Greensfelder for some race recon.
Sunday came and j.rider picked me up at 09:00 and we headed out for a little evidence gathering. One thing about Greensfelder is it seems to kind of get into your head when you haven't ridden it for awhile. For someone like me it always adds to the anxiety. We finished some laps and had to get headed for home as j.rider had to look after the boys. As we got back into the car and headed home we started to have talks about motivation, training and a bunch of other topics in between. So remember earlier about the feeling lost stuff? Well it got me to thinking and ultimately to this post. Over the years I have been about the hardest critic of myself that anyone could be. The level and intensity of my self-hatred was pretty incredible. I will spare you the details... Lets just say I have had a very long and hard road to travel. In the last few years I have really been working on getting beyond lots of the ghost from my past. What I have endured I would not wish on anyone else. I am just happy to finally be getting to the other side. That in a nutshell is what I am getting at. We cyclist make a big deal about watts and heartrate, miles in the legs etc. One thing that gets overlooked a ton is the heart and mind. I don't wanna sound all new age like here. But, honestly you have to be positive and really convince your self to be. It has made a huge difference in my life over the last few years to really focus on the positives and not the negatives. It's a lesson I should have learned years ago from the Bad Brains, it just took 25 years to sink into my thick head. As Toby Morse puts it PMA ALL DAY.
It may not be the key to happiness but it sure as hell helps. Maybe it's my return to the straight edge but it just really rings true in my life. You can't get to wrapped up in things in your head, it will kill you. I should know, I'm an expert over thinker.
To wrap it up, training and planning is great. However, if you don't have the right mindset it might be all for not. I think I might need PMA added to my top tube graphics.
It seems like the winter has finally taken a hike and spring has sprung here in the midwest. Having a weekend of sun and temperatures in the upper sixties to mid seventies has succeeded in lighting the inner fire. We have about five weeks until the one of the biggest races of the season. I'm going all in on training for the next few weeks and trying to whip myself into some kind of respectable shape. I was pleasantly surprised how i felt on the bike this weekend. Some of my off season planning seems to bearing some fruit. Time well tell on how this fits into my bigger picture for things this year.
So for the next few weeks the hammer program is going full tilt.
As this boy sets fire to his legs.
bring it on I've got your life when I've got your fear
